In Our Own Voice Presentation by NAMI Syracuse board member, Jim Livi

Hi my name is Jim and I’m from upstate New York. I love that all four seasons here are experienced, especially the winter. LOL. There are two things I really enjoy: 1. is cats. I have two! Second, bubbles. I entertain kids with bodacious bubbles that are 10 or more feet in diameter. I have an unofficial world’s record for the tallest bubble made outdoors. Perhaps you can guess how tall!

NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, is the nation’s largest grassroots mental health organization. We provide advocacy, education, support and public awareness so that all people affected by mental illness can build better lives.

At our local Nami chapter, here in Syracuse, NY, we offer support groups for individuals and families. I facilitate one of them for peers called Connection. Our Family to Family class educates family members, significant others and friends on mental health conditions. We support veterans as well with the HomeFront class. We conduct presentations to schools, businesses, churches, libraries or any organization about mental illness. Finally, we offer many resources through our website.

Our purpose today is to offer insights that provide support in the roles that matter to us all. To be better siblings, coworkers, neighbors, service providers, parents, spouses, and friends.

Mental health conditions in ourselves or in someone we care about can impact those roles. The stories you’ll hear today will describe how mental health affects people and their relationships with others. We’ll share how mental health has impacted our lives, explore warning signs and describe what kinds of habits and changes support our mental health.

We’re going to alternate between watching a video and speaking with you directly. The video is divided into three segments: What Happened, What Helps and What’s Next. After each segment, we’ll pause the video, briefly share our personal story and then have time for discussion and questions. We are here for you and want to speak about what you’re most interested in hearing.

In the summer of 2000 I had a business failure. During this time I felt severe anxiety that brought on terrible depression. I tried my best to make the business run, but the fears of all the finances caving in took a toll. I sought help from my doctor after about two months. That’s when I realized I entered the world of mental illness. Being diagnosed seemed to help. I mean, I could start educating myself. I was desperate to feel better. The medication took a long time to make a difference. And in the meanwhile I was crying and crying in my office, my shop, at home, at church. The business was a dream of mine and now it crashed. I became incapable of performing all my duties. So I shut it down. One day, as I was driving home, I lost my way. I was so confused as the brain fog worsened. I finally made my way to Deb, my wife, and told her there is something really serious going on with me and I need help. Her and her sister took me to our local mental health crisis center. It was scary and it was comforting at the same time. So odd.

I ended up being hospitalized 5 times over 14 years. Each visit was with more severe symptoms, between suicidal ideation to psychosis. I was seeing, hearing, feeling awful hallucinations and delusions. My wife was so frightened that she wouldn’t get her husband back. The last hospitalization was longer term. Two and half months later and finally on medications that were working, I found relief.

Finding relief for me came through faith, doctors and therapy. People were praying for me and my wife and my friends visited me at the hospital. That felt good to know they cared. This journey took many years though, because I had relapses along the way due to the inner stigma I experienced. I didn’t like taking medicines, especially when they weren’t working. Twenty different medications were tried. I was misdiagnosed with the bipolar disorder, which was a terrible time. The turning point came with my last hospitalization at a long term facility for two and a half months. I was now on anti-psychotic medication for the psychosis I was living through. The new medications were, this time, working and the paranoia subsided. I was able to go from the darkest pit to allowing myself to gain new coping skills. The psychologist used a therapy called ACT or Acceptance Commitment Therapy which enabled me to deal with the serious underlying fears and anxiety that plagued me. I was actually surprised. Support groups became something I now participated in, instead of isolation. I began to read in between groups and sessions. This kept my mind on track with wholesome things instead of the illness. Hope came when Deb and I met with my psychologist and the understanding of what life could be like beyond the illness. This hospitalization was my last one since 2014.

Since 2014, after the final hospitalization, I went on several outpatient activities, which brought back confidence that I was in a good place of recovery. I could be myself again. The joy of life was returning and God had brought me out into a new season of life. I got in touch with Nami again and began to participate in a peer to peer support group. This demonstrated to me that I could socialize and encourage others. To my surprise, the leader handed the group over to me after a year! I was trained to be the official facilitator along with another peer. At the same time, I was volunteering at Catholic Charities in their peer support department. That turned into a part time paid position where I completed certification to become a peer specialist and peer recovery advocate helping individuals with their life goals as they recovered from various mental health conditions. This was wonderful for about four years. Eventually I felt the stress of the peer specialist role due to insurance company demands overriding the personal touch of helping people. Shortly after my boss quit, who had the same stress, I had to move on. However I landed a new role as a Prayer Line Associate with the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association. This became a fresh new way for me to assist people in all forms of recovery. I currently help many with depression, anxiety, PTSD and schizophrenia over the phone. It’s amazing how my recovery has become a form of hope and even a gift of comfort to people around the United States. As a board member of my local NAMI, I had the privilege to lead a committee for our 40th anniversary. That almost developed into my becoming the board president. However, I learned my limitations over the years and how much I could take on without relapsing. What’s next is presenting more In Our Own Voice presentations like this and more. Sharing comfort and compassion is extremely important to me so I can be a blessing for others in desperate times.

Jim Livi, Nami Syracuse board member

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